Romance Scam Red Flags: Don't Fall for It

Romance scams are not a niche problem — they are one of the most financially devastating forms of fraud in America today. According to the Federal Trade Commission, losses linked to online romance scams topped $823 million in 2024, and the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) received 17,910 romance scam reports in the same year resulting in over $672 million in losses nationally. Behind those numbers are real people — people who believed they had found a genuine connection, only to discover they had been systematically manipulated by a criminal with a fake identity. The good news: romance scams follow predictable patterns, and knowing the red flags can stop a scam before it starts.

What Is a Romance Scam and How It Works

A romance scam occurs when a criminal adopts a fake online identity to gain a victim's affection and trust, then uses the illusion of a romantic or close relationship to manipulate and ultimately steal from the victim. These schemes are a long con — scammers invest weeks or even months building emotional intimacy before any financial request is made, because the deeper the bond, the bigger the eventual payday. Scammers typically build their fake personas using stolen photographs and fabricated life stories, then seek victims on dating apps, social media platforms, and even via unsolicited direct messages. Notably, the FTC has found that 40% of people who lost money to a romance scam reported that the initial contact started on social media — not a dating app — and many scammers quickly move conversations to WhatsApp, Google Chat, or Telegram to operate outside platform monitoring. Increasingly, artificial intelligence is being weaponized in these schemes, making conversations sound more natural and emotionally convincing than ever before.

Warning Signs to Watch For

Recognizing a romance scam early is your best defense. Here are the most critical red flags identified by the FBI and FTC:

**They seem too perfect, too fast.** A scammer may present themselves as unusually perfect or emotionally intense, quickly building trust and pushing the relationship forward at an unrealistic pace. This tactic — known as 'love bombing' — is designed to bypass your critical thinking.

**They always have an excuse not to meet.** If you haven't met the person after a few months, for whatever reason, you have strong grounds for suspicion. Scammers consistently avoid video calls or in-person meetings, often citing overseas work assignments (military deployments, oil rigs, international contracts) that conveniently keep them out of reach.

**They migrate off the dating platform.** Scammers frequently attempt to move conversations off legitimate dating platforms, urging victims to communicate exclusively through email, texting, or encrypted messaging apps. This removes the safety nets that legitimate platforms provide.

**Their profile photos appear elsewhere.** Scammers reuse stolen photos and fabricated profiles. Running a reverse image search on any profile picture can reveal whether the image has been used under other names — a near-certain indicator of fraud.

**They ask for money — in any form.** Any request for money from someone you have only met online is a major red flag, regardless of the reason given. Common pretexts include medical emergencies, travel costs to finally 'visit you,' legal fees, or business investment opportunities. Payment methods favored by scammers include wire transfers, gift cards, and increasingly, cryptocurrency — which is pseudonymous, irreversible, and easily transferred across borders.

**They pivot to crypto investing.** A growing and especially costly variant — sometimes called 'pig butchering' — involves the scammer establishing an emotional connection, then convincing the victim to invest in a fake cryptocurrency platform. They establish an emotional connection so you are more likely to believe they are an expert in cryptocurrency investing. Victims often see initial 'profits' that encourage them to invest more, before the platform disappears entirely.

**They try to isolate you.** Romance scammers often try to isolate victims by insisting on secrecy about the relationship. People with honest intentions have no problem with you telling someone close to you about your new connection — a scammer will discourage it.

**Their story has inconsistencies.** Watch for contradictions in their background, changing details about their job or location, or a profile where the images don't match the biography. If details don't add up, trust that instinct.

Who Is Being Targeted

While romance scammers have been known to specifically target women over 40 who are divorced, widowed, elderly, or disabled, the reality is that criminals do not discriminate by age, gender, or education level. Data shows that individuals aged 35 to 54 — often educated and professionally established — collectively lose more money to these deceptions than any other age group, challenging the stereotype that only the elderly or lonely fall victim. That said, older Americans face disproportionate harm: adults over 60 accounted for more than half of all FBI-reported romance and confidence fraud losses in 2023, and the FBI's 2024 IC3 data confirms that romance scams remain among the top fraud categories affecting older adults. The emotional and financial devastation is compounded by shame and isolation, which is exactly what scammers count on to keep victims silent.

How to Protect Yourself

The FBI and FTC recommend several concrete protective measures. First, go slow and ask probing questions — scammers rely on emotional momentum to prevent clear thinking. Second, always conduct a reverse image search on any profile pictures of someone you have not met in person. Third, never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone, regardless of how compelling the story. Fourth, be extremely cautious about sharing your Social Security number or other personally identifiable information with an online contact. Fifth, tell a trusted friend or family member about any new online relationship — an outside perspective can catch warning signs you may be too emotionally invested to see. Finally, never send intimate photographs to an online contact: scammers may use them for extortion, threatening to share images with your family or employer unless you pay.

What to Do If You're Targeted

If you suspect you are being targeted by a romance scam, stop all contact immediately. Do not send any additional money, even if the scammer claims your previous 'investment' will be lost if you don't. Report suspicious profiles and messages directly to the dating app or social media platform where contact was initiated. Then file a complaint with the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at IC3.gov. If you are being threatened or extorted, report to the FBI directly. Acting quickly matters: while recovery of funds is difficult — especially those sent via cryptocurrency or wire transfer — early reporting helps law enforcement track criminal networks, protect other potential victims, and build cases against the organized crime groups that run many of these operations at scale. You are not alone, and reporting is never a source of shame.